What If I’ve Already Messed Up?

Virtually every time I speak to young people about purity, someone will ask the question (usually anonymously), “What if I’ve already messed up?” I’m happy to report that there’s good news for those who have committed sexual sins but who wish to be made pure and whole once again! God’s forgiveness covers all sin for all time, and He and He alone can restore a person’s spiritual purity. If you have any doubts, read David’s confession from Psalm 51 below.

For the choir director: A psalm of David, regarding the time Nathan the prophet came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

“Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my shameful deeds – they haunt me day and night. Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just. For I was born a sinner – yes, from the moment my mother conceived me. But you desire honesty from the heart, so you can teach me to be wise in my inmost being.

“Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me – now let me rejoice. Don't keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don't take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me again the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. Then I will teach your ways to sinners, and they will return to you.

“Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves; then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness. Unseal my lips, O Lord, that I may praise you. You would not be pleased with sacrifices, or I would bring them. If I brought you a burnt offering, you would not accept it. The sacrifice you want is a broken spirit. A broken and repentant heart, O God, you will not despise. Look with favor on Zion and help her; rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. Then you will be pleased with worthy sacrifices and with our whole burnt offerings; and bulls will again be sacrificed on your altar.” (Psalm 51 NLT)

The first step to being restored is to repent of your sin. To repent means to acknowledge your sin and to turn from it (literally to do a 180 degree “about face”). In verse three, David acknowledged his sin:

“For I recognize my shameful deeds – they haunt me day and night.”

He didn’t try to rationalize, minimize, or neutralize his sin. He looked it square in the face and admitted to himself and to God that it was shameful.

The second step toward restoration is to acknowledge that all sin is against God. In verse four, David admits this to God.

“Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight.”

All sin is against God, no matter who else might be involved. And God is the only One who can forgive our sin. Others may forgive us for whatever offense we may have committed against them, but only God can forgive sin.

The next step to being restored is to apply your faith by accepting God’s ability and willingness to forgive and cleanse you, no matter what you have done. In verse seven, David confesses his faith in God to restore his purity.

“Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.”

Losing your virginity can never be undone. You can give all of yourself only one time to one person. There are consequences for all wrong choices in life, but God is bigger than your choices. He is gracious and merciful, and He chooses to use even our mess ups to help us to grow and to mature.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28 NLT)

God can and will restore your purity, just as He did David’s, if you admit to Him that you’ve sinned against Him and genuinely desire to be made right. Through the shed blood of Jesus, you can be made pure as the new driven snow in God’s sight. God’s forgiveness is like a pardon. Through Christ He offers justification—just as if you had never sinned. God want to remove your guilt, not just cover it up.

David cried out to God in verse nine,

“Remove the stain of my guilt.”

He acknowledged that God had the power to forgive his sin and remove his guilt. It is vital that we acknowledge this, too, so that we also may be forgiven and restored. David continued,

“Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me.”

God never does anything halfway. Whatever He does, He does completely. When we mess up and genuinely ask God to forgive us, He not only forgives us, but He also cleanses us of every wrong so that we may once again stand righteous before Him.

“But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.” (1 John 1:9 NLT)

But God doesn’t even stop here. His mercy and grace compel Him to renew our spirits, to restore His Presence in our lives, to restore our joy, and to give us the desire to obey Him, according to verses 10 through 12.

“Renew a right spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don't take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me again the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.”

In verse 13, David responded to God’s unfathomable mercy by committing to teach others how to avoid the pitfalls he encountered as a result of his wrong choices.

“Then I will teach your ways to sinners, and they will return to you.”

One of the best things you can do in response to your own failures is to help others to avoid the stumbling blocks that tripped you up. No sin can be undone, but once it has been admitted to God and forgiven, the best way to minimize Satan’s ability to use it against you is to learn from it and to help others to learn from it as well. Confessed and forgiven sin becomes a part of your testimony and can be used to keep Satan at bay. He can no longer accuse a believer who has fully appropriated forgiveness and cleansing from sin. If he even tries to remind you of past sin, you can refer him to your Advocate, Jesus Christ, whose shed blood literally blotted out any record of that sin.

David summarizes his confession and guarantees his forgiveness and cleansing in verse 17 by acknowledging God’s definition of true repentance.

“The sacrifice you want is a broken spirit. A broken and repentant heart, O God, you will not despise.”

God wants to know that our hearts are broken by our recognition of the sin in our lives. True repentance means turning our back on sin, and vowing to God that by His grace and with His strength we will never repeat our folly. God will always hear a genuine admission of guilt, and He will always restore a broken and repentant heart.

If you’ve messed up, I have good news! There is hope for you. God is in the business of restoring broken vessels and creating beauty from ashes. There is no sin you have committed that is so egregious that God can’t forgive it. Nothing you have done could possibly have thwarted God’s perfect plan for your precious life. It’s never too late to start fresh. If you really want to have your purity restored, follow the steps in David’s confession in Psalm 51.

1. Acknowledge God’s unfailing love and compassion and His power and willingness to forgive (wipe out) your sin (verse 1).
2. Ask God for forgiveness and cleansing (verse 2).
3. Admit your sin and agree with God that it’s grievous to Him (verses 3-4).
4. Accept God’s cleansing of your heart and the restoration of your joy (verse 10).

“yet now he has brought you back as his friends. He has done this through his death on the cross in his own human body. As a result, he has brought you into the very presence of God, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.” (Colossians 1:22)

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